Confident Conversation Formula

On the 25th December 2011, due to a huge rain and hail storm, our home was flooded throughout. Consequently business activities were reduced to doing the bare minimum to keep things ticking over, and most of my energy was directed to my domestic management. I tell people about the events, as it was certainly memorable. However, I never intend for them to feel sorry for me. I share with the purpose of sharing a story and connecting with another human being. I always follow with the benefit or outcome though. I share the up side. In this case I get new carpets throughout my house (eventually – still waiting) and compared to other people our damage was minimal. I want the conversation to ultimately be a positive experience for both of us. Another up-side is that I have had a chance to focus on post-disaster (personal presentation) recovery strategies. Which I will share later.

Often people can struggle with what to talk about with someone they have just met. It is a common challenge for those new to business networking. Having a few strategies can help.
One of mine is thinking F.O.P.A.R. (memorable because we don’t want to make a ‘faux pas’ (meaning social or cultural error in manners).

Try this for engaging in gracious conversations:
F – Future. Tell people what you are doing now and planning to achieve in the future. This is far more exciting than telling people what you have done. That may appear as boasting.
O – Others. Be diplomatic and gracious with what you say of others. Avoid derogatory comments and gossip about others. People are more likely to then trust you with their stories if you demonstrate you can be respectful of others behind their backs.
P – Purpose. Talk about your purpose or role as part of a bigger plan. Rather than just telling people who you are and what you do. Tell people what you are a part of, and the purpose of your activity. Examples of how you have made a difference and who you serve can be more engaging than what tasks you perform.
A – Ask. Asking questions of others is the best way to find some common ground and potentially a topic you both relate to. In addition it shows you are interested in them. If you are listening more than you are talking, that is a good sign.
R – Restrictions. Restrict conversations on topics such as religious opinions, political preferences, and sexuality until you know each other better and have a stronger association. It is worthwhile following the media news for some potential topics – community interest, sport, international or national events, local weather (if necessary), family activities.

Think FOPAR next time you feel nervous or get stuck and others will see you as a confidence conversationalist.

Let me know if this is helpful, or if you have any comments?

Travel Packing Made Easy. Part 1 – Create your CARD

Hadrians Wall, UK

Are you the type of person that stands paralysed in front of your suitcase when you need to pack for a trip? Or are you the type to throw as much as you can into the case ‘just in case you need it’? Both if these situations can be remedied by some planning.

Introducing the Travel Packing – Wardrobe Wizard
I recently had a holiday in the UK. It was an ideal chance to put into action the travel packing guidelines I have been developing over the last few years.
The very first thing to do, even before you get the suitcase out, is to establish the guidelines for your trip. I recommend using the CARD system to make it easy.
You can create a CARD for each trip you do and have it ready to go for next time.

Considerations:
C – Climate/Culture? What is the climate or weather likely to be while you are there? Summer/Winter? Range of temperature from day to night? Are there any cultural issues of modesty to consider? For example, a bikini will not be suitable to pack when going to a orthodox Muslim country. Being clear on this aspect will help you choose the right types of clothing. Heavy coat vs light rain jacket? Skimpy singlet vs long sleeved top?

A – Activities? What will you be doing on your trip? Business meetings/visiting family/tourist activites/retreat spa. Being clear on this aspect will help you choose the style of clothing needed. Do you need to take business formal, smart casual, relaxed practical casual? Do you need a mix of smart and casual or can you just focus on relaxed casual? This will also help you choose what types of footwear, active wear and accessories to take.

R- Restrictions of travel? How will you be travelling? This will impact what size and weight of luggage you can take. If flying internationally, check the size and weight limits for each leg of your trip. It may vary between carriers. If travelling on a number of modes of transport, make sure you can comfortably carry your luggage yourself. Suitcases with wheels and pull-up handles, and back packs are good practical options. For security and practicality it is advisable to be able to carry your own bags. Once you have determined these restrictions, this does not mean you can fill the bags to capacity before you leave! Remember, you will often want to buy souvenirs or other items on the trip, so save some room.

D – Duration? How long will you be away from home? This will impact on aspects such as – Will you need to, or have the opportunity to, wash clothes? This will determine the number of items you need to pack. If you can launder your clothes then the number of items you take can be the same whether you are going for a week or a month.

As you ask all these questions start writing your list. This then becomes your CARD template for similar trips in the future.
Also, it is a good idea to review the list when you return from your trip to see how effective it was. Were there some items you didn’t use and can remove from the list for next time? Were there any items you needed to add for next time?
Give it a go. The more you travel the more time it will save you. But even if you rarely travel, it can take the stress out of the process.
I am happy to say that on my recent trip. I wore everything I took between one and ten times! Not bad for a suitcase half the size of what most women use when going from Australia to Europe. I am quite proud of myself.

Stay tuned for Part 2… Creating Your Travel Wardrobe Capsule (ie How to look good even if you don’t have each days outfit planned)

How The Wrong Choice Of Colour Can Ruin Your Personal Brand

Colour is such an important part of your Personal Brand expression. We have such a strong emotional and subconscious connection to colour that it cannot be ignored when deciding what to wear, how to decorate our environment and brand our identity.

I witnessed an excellent example of a wrong colour choice last week when I caught an episode of ‘Australias Got Talent’ on TV. A talented harmonica player had previously impressed the judges and audience with his skill and cowboy image. As we watched, out comes the contestant in a baby pink satin jacket accompanied by pink clad rock’n'roll dancers! My mind screamed ‘Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!’
Whoever advised him that baby pink satin was going to be a supportive choice for his growing brand value made a big mistake. The performance would have been far better received by the judges and audience if he had worn Red, for example, rather than pink. Red would have supported his masculine and energetic performance and been consistent with his previous presentation. One of the judges descibed him as looking like a gay Rod Stewart. I had to agree. It was such a change in image that it just seemed wrong and compromised his credibility as a performer, even if he is a talented harmonica player.

Building a strong brand is about developing a consistent image. That way, when there is an occasional inconsistency the viewer is more likely to give them the benefit of the doubt. However, for a new Personal Brand it is vital that the image is consistent until a track record is established.
Unfortunately, it is now going to be hard for the AGT contestant to shake off the ‘gay Rod Stewart’ image. He is talented, so I hope he does, but he will have to work at least twice as hard now.

It will be interesting to see the voting results…..

Get a Sense For Using Scent

The sense of smell is a tricky thing to manage. It can be very subjective, What smells pleasant to one person can seem unpleasant to another. There is also the issue that some people can be allergic to certain scent components. The nose also becomes desensitized over time to continual exposure. This is a good thing for unpleasant smells but means that if you wear a favourite fragrance continually, the perception and enjoyment of it will be reduced over time. That is the benefit of having a few personal fragrances to choose from and alternate.
There is the potential for us to collect numberous fragrances and have them gather dust on the dresser or in the bathroom cabinet. A number of years ago I decluttered my perfume collection as I do not wear much perfume and I was sick of dusting the bottles. I was also concerned with their shelf life.
I have since found out that if the fragrances are stored in a dark environment at room temperature, they can last indefinitely! Heat and light will affect the quality, so if you find that the liquid has gone thick and sticky or the smell is no longer pleasant, it is time to ditch it.
Smell is a powerful tool to consider as the messages from the smell receptors go straight into the brain and affect the emotional subconscious without first being processed by conscious thought.

When it comes to wearing fragrance in the working environment, the recommendation is:
1. Don’t wear too much – less is more.
2. Apply the fragrance before dressing to avoid the potential of staining clothing.
3. Wear a subtle fragrance to minimise any possible irritant or allergic reaction from other people in your proximity.
4. When choosing a fragrance. try two or three in different locations on the body and wear them for the day so you can test how they react on your skin and how the fragrance develops over time. The initial pleasant smell (the top note) may not be the one that lingers later.
5. If you have dry skin, moisture first and the fragrance will last longer. Or layer using a body wash and moisturizer with a matched fragrance. There is a growing range of products applying this principle.
6. Fragrances can also be used as room fresheners. Especially if there are any lingering unpleasant odours in a room. An old bottle with a little left in it can be used for this purpose.
7. If you work closely with someone with an unpleasant body odour and you cannot bring yourself to discuss the issue with them. You can manage it by reapplying fragrance to yourself during the day, spraying the room, or purchasing a fragrance for them as a gift
8. Use caution when buying fragrances for others. We can each prefer different kinds of smells. In general, go for a subtle fragrance that seems to be popular and has been around for years, or make a note of what flowers and foods they like. When in doubt, there are packs of small bottles of different fragrances available. These are commonly available at airports as well as large stores.
9. A spray of fragrance on a handkerchief can also be a pleasant addition to underwear draws.
10. It is not a necessity to wear fragrance, but it does add to people’s experience of us. Certain fragrance associations can become anchored, so that every time they smell that particular scent they think of you. This is a subtle form of Personal Branding that can be fun to explore.

So if you love a fragrance don’t feel guilty about getting a large bottle. Just store it properly. Then get small bottles of fragrances that you want to try or only wear on special occasions.

Happy exploring.

You Are The Best! I Am Blessed!

Recently I had the fortunate experience of being stopped by a policeman while driving. While this may not seem like a fortunate event for most people, it allowed him to inform me that I was driving an unregistered car. To my surprise, he was correct. My car registration was six months out of date and I had no idea. I have learnt my lesson now, that it is solely my responsibility to make sure the car registration is paid when due regardless of whether I receive a renewal notice of not.
The reason this stressful event at the time was fortunate, is that apparently if you have an accident the car insurance is not valid. This event potentially saved me much money and grief, regardless of the fine I had to pay.
For this reason, I appreciated the notification by the policeman and sent him a thank you card. I understand a police officers job cannot be an easy one and you would truely have to believe that what you are doing is necessary to deal with all the crap they have to deal with on a daily basis. It takes a strong and committed person to do that job.
This poor policeman was so surprised to receive a card from someone he had fined, that he came around and thanked me for the card. I certainly didn’t expect that!
That got me thinking. He must see and experience the worst that people are capable of on a regular basis and I truely felt sorry for him and all police officers. I on the other hand, get to experience the best of people on a regular basis. Clients come to me because they are taking control of their lives, because they want to improve, because they want to create a better self and world. This is such an inspiring environment to work in and the reason I am still doing it after ten years. I am humbled that I get to meet the amazing people that I do. I am truly blessed. I give all I can to help others, so that I can get to see them blossom and change the world they live in. Awesome!
Thanks to all the people who regularly deal with the crap humans are capable of. I hope you also get to take time out and spend it with people who make this world a better place. There are so many of them out there. They just don’t necessarily make it into the news.

“Pay the farmer, not the hospital.” Says a leader of tomorrow!

This is a great message and more powerful by being delivered by an 11 year old. Fantastic and inspiring.
Enjoy…

What if you knew your business would last over 200 years?

Looking at a list of firms and when they started made me wonder if the founders could have envisaged the business still operating hundreds of years in the future. They may not have envisaged the technology, but would they have made decisions based on their desire for the business’s longevity.
This list states that the Japanese company Kongo Gumi, a construction business, started around 578 AD. Many of the Eurpoean companies started in the last thousand years I had not heard of, but I have heard of Kikkoman Japanese soy sauce started in 1630, and Villeroy & Boch German tablewear started in 1748.
It got me thinking. In the current age of fast paced lives and technological advancements, can a business (or a person for that matter) make any long-range plans? Or do we have to just go with the flow and adapt to change as nature does. Levi Strauss clothing, started in 1853, has certainly changed its target market over the years from manual worker to the fashionable young. Some, however, just provide more product to more people. (I was surprised to see that Coca-Cola started in 1886)
Most of the oldest businesses seem to be product based. The few exceptions being banking and innkeeping. So what could a serviced based business do to maximise its chance of longevity?
I’m no business analyst, so this is just an open-ended question from me. I guess making some sort of product from the service would be one way. In addition to establishing a solid brand, of course.
What do you think?
Just some musing for the New Year